The Tragedy of Lust and Deceit: A Coptic Orthodox Commentary on 2 Samuel 13
Executive Summary ✨
2 Samuel 13 unfolds a dark chapter in David’s reign, chronicling the devastating consequences of unchecked lust and familial betrayal. Amnon, David’s eldest son, becomes consumed by a twisted desire for his half-sister Tamar. Driven by a wicked scheme orchestrated by his cousin Jonadab, Amnon feigns illness to lure Tamar into his chamber, where he brutally rapes her. Afterward, his lust turns to hatred, and he cruelly casts her out. Tamar is left desolate, her life irrevocably scarred. Absalom, Tamar’s full brother, vows revenge, harboring a simmering rage that ultimately culminates in his rebellion against David. This chapter serves as a stark warning against the destructive power of unchecked passions, the insidious nature of manipulation, and the devastating consequences of sin within families. We see the seeds of future turmoil sown, leading to heartbreak and further division within David’s kingdom. The failure of parental leadership and accountability is glaring, highlighting the profound need for spiritual vigilance and moral integrity. [Read more about building a website for your church or ministry](https://dohost.us).
2 Samuel 13 is a harrowing tale of lust, violence, and revenge that shakes the very foundations of David’s kingdom. This chapter plunges us into the dark underbelly of human nature, exposing the destructive consequences of unchecked desires and the far-reaching impact of sin on individuals and families. Through a Coptic Orthodox lens, we will delve into the theological and spiritual implications of this tragic narrative, exploring its relevance for our lives today, especially considering the prevalence of similar issues in the modern era.
Commentary Sections 📖
2 Samuel 13:1-2
Now it came about after this that Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. Amnon was so distressed that he became sick on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin; and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. (NKJV)
The passage begins with the introduction of Tamar, Absalom’s beautiful sister, and the onset of Amnon’s obsessive desire. Notice the emphasis on Tamar’s virtue – she is described as a virgin. Amnon’s “love” is not genuine affection, but a destructive lust that consumes him and renders him physically ill. This highlights the distinction between agape (divine love) and eros (passionate desire), the latter of which, when untamed, can lead to devastating consequences.
Spiritual Application: We must be vigilant against allowing our passions to control us. True love is selfless and seeks the well-being of the other, while lust is selfish and seeks only personal gratification. Prayer, fasting, and spiritual discipline are crucial tools for resisting temptation.
2 Samuel 13:3-5
But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother; and Jonadab was a very crafty man. He said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” So Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill; and when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me some food to eat, and let her prepare the food in my sight, so that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” (NKJV)
Jonadab, a “very crafty man,” represents the corrupting influence of bad company. Instead of guiding Amnon toward repentance, he fuels his wicked desire and devises a deceptive plan. This is a clear example of how easily we can be led astray by those who encourage our sinful inclinations. Jonadab’s advice is not simply pragmatic; it is actively malicious, exploiting the familial trust and David’s paternal concern. Such “friends” are spiritual enemies in disguise.
Spiritual Application: Choose your friends wisely. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to grow in virtue and who will hold you accountable. Beware of those who flatter you or who readily condone your sinful desires.
2 Samuel 13:6-9
So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.” Then David sent word to Tamar at the house, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, and he was lying down. And she took flour, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. Then she took the pan and served them before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Send everyone out from me.” So they all went out from him. (NKJV)
David, in his unsuspecting innocence, unwittingly becomes a pawn in Amnon’s scheme. This highlights the importance of discernment, especially in positions of authority. Tamar, obedient and trusting, follows her father’s instructions, unaware of the danger that awaits her. Amnon’s manipulation and calculated actions underscore the depths of his depravity. The request to send everyone out is a deliberate act to isolate Tamar and facilitate his evil intent.
Patristic Insight: St. Basil the Great warns against the dangers of isolation: *“Ἡ γὰρ μοναξιὰ… πολλὰ τοῖς μὴ καλῶς παιδευμένοις ἐργάζεται πταίσματα.”* (Regulae Brevius Tractatae, 179) – “For solitude… works many stumbling blocks for those who are not well-trained.” We need community for accountability and support.
Spiritual Application: Cultivate discernment through prayer and the study of Scripture. Be cautious and wise in your interactions with others, especially those who exhibit questionable behavior. Don’t underestimate the power of deception. Protect yourself from isolation, and seek support from trusted spiritual mentors and community members.
2 Samuel 13:10-14
Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the bedroom to Amnon her brother. Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing ought to be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not refuse you.” However, he would not heed her voice; but being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. (NKJV)
This is the horrific climax of the chapter. Amnon’s lust culminates in a violent act of rape. Tamar’s plea highlights the abomination of his actions, both in the eyes of God and the community. She appeals to his conscience, reminding him of the shame and dishonor he will bring upon himself and her. Her wisdom and eloquence stand in stark contrast to Amnon’s brutality. Her reference to speaking to the king suggests that a formal betrothal could have been arranged (albeit highly unusual), further highlighting the deliberate nature of Amnon’s sin – he chooses violence over honorable pursuit.
Spiritual Application: Stand firm in your convictions, even when facing intense pressure. Resist the temptation to compromise your values. Recognize the sanctity of your body and the importance of respecting the boundaries of others. Speak out against injustice and abuse, even when it is difficult. Victims of abuse are never to blame and should seek immediate help. We must pray for healing and justice for those who have suffered from such violence.
2 Samuel 13:15-16
Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!” So she said to him, “No, there is no reason for this evil; you are sending me away, having done greater wrong to me than the other.” But he would not listen to her. (NKJV)
The immediate aftermath of the rape reveals the twisted nature of Amnon’s desires. His lust quickly turns to hatred, highlighting the superficiality and destructive nature of sin. He casts Tamar out, compounding his crime with further cruelty. Tamar’s words expose the further cruelty of his actions – expelling her brings more shame than the initial act, as it leaves her without protection or recourse. His rejection amplifies her suffering and underscores his heartlessness.
Spiritual Application: Sin often leaves a trail of devastation in its wake. It is important to understand that true repentance involves not only confessing our sins but also making restitution and seeking reconciliation with those we have harmed. Be wary of feelings that change quickly, especially from strong affection to animosity; it can indicate a disordered heart.
2 Samuel 13:17-20
Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, “Here, throw this woman out from me, and bolt the door behind her.” Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s daughters wore such robes. And his servant brought her out and bolted the door behind her. And Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. (NKJV)
Tamar’s actions – putting ashes on her head and tearing her robe – are outward expressions of her profound grief and shame. The “robe of many colors” signifies her royal status and virginity, now irrevocably tarnished. Absalom’s initial response, while seemingly protective, ultimately silences Tamar and allows Amnon to escape justice. His words, “Do not take this thing to heart,” are a misguided attempt to comfort her, but they fail to acknowledge the depth of her pain and the gravity of Amnon’s sin. Tamar’s desolation underscores the long-lasting impact of trauma. Note that similar robes were worn by Joseph, indicating status and favor. Tamar’s tearing of the garment signifies a loss of both.
Spiritual Application: Be sensitive to the suffering of others, especially those who have experienced trauma. Offer genuine empathy and support, and avoid minimizing their pain or silencing their voices. Silence in the face of injustice is complicity. Find healthy and appropriate ways to express grief and anger. Seek justice, but do so with wisdom and discernment.
2 Samuel 13:21-22
But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. And Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. (NKJV)
David’s anger, though righteous, is insufficient. His failure to take decisive action against Amnon creates a breeding ground for resentment and ultimately contributes to the cycle of violence. Absalom’s silent hatred foreshadows his future rebellion. The lack of justice and accountability exacerbates the situation and sets the stage for further tragedy. David’s anger is a delayed reaction; he should have taken immediate action, but his inaction allows resentment to fester.
Spiritual Application: Leaders have a responsibility to uphold justice and to hold wrongdoers accountable. Do not let anger fester into resentment; instead, channel it into constructive action. Forgiveness is essential, but it does not negate the need for justice and consequences.
2 Samuel 13:23-29
After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. And Absalom came to the king and said, “Please let the king and his servants go with me.” But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” Then he urged him, but he would not go; but he blessed him. Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom urged him; therefore he sent Amnon and all the king’s sons with him. Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, “Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.” So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. (NKJV)
Absalom’s seemingly innocent invitation to the sheepshearing is a carefully orchestrated plot to exact revenge on Amnon. The two-year delay allowed his hatred to fester and his plan to mature. He strategically excludes David, preventing him from interfering. Absalom’s calculated actions demonstrate the dangers of unchecked anger and the lengths to which people will go to satisfy their thirst for revenge. The sheepshearing, normally a time of celebration, becomes a backdrop for murder, highlighting the perversion of justice. The location near Ephraim is significant; Ephraim was one of the ten northern tribes, and this may have been a way for Absalom to gain support for his future rebellion.
Spiritual Application: Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It requires a conscious effort to release resentment and to seek reconciliation. Seek counsel from trusted spiritual advisors when struggling with forgiveness. Revenge is never the answer; it only perpetuates the cycle of violence. Trust in God’s justice, and allow Him to work in His own time and way.
2 Samuel 13:30-39
Now it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!” So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined since the day that he forced his sister Tamar. Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, for only Amnon is dead.” But Absalom fled. Then the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. And Jonadab said to the king, “Look, the king’s sons are coming. Just as your servant said, so it is.” So it was, when he had finished speaking, that the king’s sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly. Then King David mourned for his son every day. So Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. And Absalom was with Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur, for three years. And King David longed to go to Absalom; for he was comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead. (NKJV)
The false report that all the king’s sons were killed highlights the devastating consequences of Absalom’s actions and the widespread panic that ensues. Jonadab, even in this moment of crisis, attempts to manipulate the situation to his advantage. David’s grief is profound and long-lasting. Absalom’s flight to Geshur foreshadows his estrangement from his father and the eventual rebellion. The passage concludes with David’s mourning and a subtle longing for Absalom, foreshadowing the complex relationship that will further destabilize his kingdom. The detail about Absalom staying with Talmai is significant; Talmai was David’s father-in-law through Maacah, Absalom’s mother, creating a safe haven with familial ties but foreign loyalties.
Spiritual Application: False reports and misinformation can cause widespread panic and confusion. Be discerning about the information you receive, and verify its accuracy before spreading it. Grief is a natural response to loss, but it should not consume us. Seek comfort and healing from God and from trusted members of your community. Estrangement from loved ones can be a painful experience, but it is important to seek reconciliation and healing whenever possible.
Subtopic: The Silence of David 🤫
David’s silence and inaction in the face of Amnon’s crime are a critical point of reflection. His anger is mentioned, but his response is passive. This reveals a profound failure of leadership and fatherhood.
- Failure to Uphold Justice: David, as king, had a responsibility to uphold justice and to protect his people. His failure to punish Amnon sent a message that sin has no consequences.
- Lack of Parental Discipline: As a father, David should have confronted Amnon and sought to restore him to repentance. His silence allowed Amnon’s sin to fester and to cause further harm.
- Seeds of Rebellion: David’s inaction fueled Absalom’s resentment and ultimately contributed to his rebellion. When leaders fail to act, they sow the seeds of discord.
- A Contrast to God’s Justice: This inaction stands in stark contrast to God’s perfect justice, which is both merciful and righteous. God disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6), but David neglects this responsibility.
- The Role of Forgiveness and Accountability: David’s failure highlights the tension between forgiveness and accountability. While forgiveness is essential, it does not negate the need for consequences.
- Modern Application: Parents and leaders must actively address wrongdoing, balancing grace with appropriate discipline to foster a culture of accountability and prevent further harm.
FAQ ❓
Let’s address some common questions regarding 2 Samuel 13:
- Q: Why didn’t David punish Amnon immediately?
A: The text doesn’t explicitly state why, but it suggests a combination of factors: favoritism, a desire to avoid scandal, and perhaps a weakness in exercising authority over his own family. This demonstrates that even great leaders can have significant blind spots and failings.
- Q: Was Tamar partially to blame for the situation?
A: Absolutely not. Tamar was a victim of Amnon’s violence and manipulation. The text clearly portrays her as innocent and obedient, highlighting the injustice of her treatment. Blaming the victim is a dangerous and harmful practice. We must always stand with those who have suffered abuse.
- Q: What is the significance of Amnon’s hatred after the rape?
A: Amnon’s hatred underscores the destructive nature of lust. True love seeks the well-being of the other, while lust is a selfish desire that quickly turns to contempt when satisfied. This rapid transition reveals the superficiality and emptiness of his initial “love.”
- Q: What lessons can we learn from this story about forgiveness?
A: 2 Samuel 13 demonstrates the complexities of forgiveness. While forgiveness is essential, it does not negate the need for justice and accountability. Forgiveness is a process that requires time, prayer, and a willingness to release resentment, but it is ultimately necessary for healing and reconciliation.
Conclusion ✨
2 Samuel 13 is a stark reminder of the destructive power of lust, the insidious nature of manipulation, and the devastating consequences of sin within families. This tragic narrative exposes the dark side of human nature and highlights the importance of vigilance, discernment, and accountability. David’s failure to act decisively creates a breeding ground for resentment and ultimately contributes to the cycle of violence. The chapter serves as a cautionary tale for leaders, parents, and individuals alike, urging us to cultivate moral integrity and to seek God’s guidance in all our relationships. The story underscores the importance of protecting the vulnerable, seeking justice for the oppressed, and fostering a culture of respect and love within our communities. Let us, therefore, strive to live lives that are pleasing to God, resisting temptation and seeking His grace to overcome the challenges we face, and above all seek spiritual guidance from [trusted sources.](https://dohost.us)